Caring for kissycat1000 while she's been going through this difficult time has really taken a lot out of me. I knew it might, I was willing to risk that. I am going to look after myself for a bit, take a day out. I'm going to ride down to visit dylan at his parent's house (goddesssnoweh is coming along for the ride) - I've known him years but never actually been to his parent's house, and they're on holiday and I have my new bike. Okay, so I only have 70 quid until the end of the month but I need to do something.
What makes it more difficult is that I know for kissycat1000 there IS no real escape. I am not about to leave her to cope with it by herself; I'm just looking after myself (as I feel I do quite well) so I can continue to be there for her.
Which I suppose brings me onto another point. kissycat1000 had always pushed me away and not wanted me to get involved to this level, but I insisted. I did know the risks it held, and I am doing things now to mitigate the damage that has done. The situation has been very intense, far more so than any 'normal' situation.
If anyone wants to reach me (hint) they should be able to via dylan or goddesssnoweh.
I'm off to have a bit of time out :)