Azekeil (azekeil) wrote,
Azekeil
azekeil

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Wow what a weekend :/

This weekend has been longer and more difficult than I could have anticipated. In terms of things I did and the fun I had it was good. However in terms of emotions it was a rollercoaster.

On Friday I came back home from work to a LAN that eze had arranged.

I didn't really end up playing any games, just copying stuff and trying to join in the atmosphere of excitement and fun. Except I knew that kissycat1000 would be feeling rather uncertain at the speed and suddenness of the holiday I'd just booked and paid for earlier that day with my ex Kerry to China, and the exact circumstances surrounding that visit. So I went online and chatted to her for a bit. In the middle of a crucial part of our conversation - worst timing in the world; Kerry calls. Due to the swirl of emotions going on in my head I decided that this would be the best time to set things straight, while she was slightly drunk and I hadn't really thought things through.

This caused massive problems all round understandibly, left kissycat1000 feeling shitty that she'd managed to pressure me into doing that, although I tried to comfort her and explain that noone was to know that she was going to call up then in the middle of things, and that straightening things out with Kerry was ultimately my decision and therefore my responsibility.

So kissycat1000 and I talk some more and Kerry calls back to tell me she doesn't think we ought to go to China - quite understandibly considering her percieved change in circumstances. She actually sympathised with me that I was getting stuck in the middle which was thoughtful (and somewhat unusual) of her under the circumstances.

Anyway I agree with Kerry to call her in the morning to straighten this mess out when we'd rested and had a chance to think about things, which she agreed to.

Unfortunately I think I left kissycat1000 with a bad impression of the way I felt about her as she later told me she went away upset, confused and disgusted with herself. I want to set the record straight, which I will get a chance to do properly the next time we actually meet up.

I spent the rest of that night copying CDs and sleeping every so often. Not very restful.

So on Saturday morning I wake up feeling pretty grotty after the night's events and start writing a journal entry to set it down in writing and help straighten out my head. I txt kissycat1000 at about 10:30 to let her know I was online if she wanted to talk, shortly after which she came on and duly we did. It was too late really for me to come up and provide comfort in person before the roleplaying I had at 2pm that day.

So I shower and Burney comes round in preparation for roleplaying and I try and call Kerry, but she's engaged and not answering her mobile so I leave a message for her. Eventually she calls back at 2pm just before the roleplayers arrive so I spend the time talking to her as the roleplayers sit downstairs twiddling their thumbs. Ah well. Kerry gets upset, not at me but about the situation. We agree to try and meet up earlier than next weekend to sort things out and make a decision about the holiday - this would enable us to still apply for the necessary visas before we were due to go, and I arrange to call her on Monday when I find out whether I can get the time off work.

So I do roleplaying, interrupted by some more txts and a phone call from Kerry. kissycat1000 also txts to tell me of a developing situation with Rob and having to cover ground previously thought covered. Roleplaying carries on far later than usual and at 10:30pm I decide I can't wait any longer and go online to talk to kissycat1000. We stay up until 3:30am talking and generally feel better about things, and I eventually go to bed knackered.

Sunday I wake up at 11:30am just before the usual Sunday jaunt to the Hope and Anchor pub at 12pm. I discover Burney kipped on the sofa and will be joining us. A quiet pub lunch later (well the pub was full 5 minutes after opening but none of Jon's other roleplaying friends turned up), we go back home via B&Q for a bit of manly standing around and looking at power tools.. well that and Jon wanted to look at camera cases for a computer case mod project after seeing a similar project done by a friend.

Get back and pop online to see if there's any activity but there isn't, so I float around with Burney talking about watching one of the millions of films kicking around at home. That never gets going but I suggest poker and Jon overhears me as he goes to pick up Kt from her first day at work experience doing the lighting for Pirates of Penzance (sp?) and collects a bunch of people together for poker. In the mean time I decide I should get on with trying to repair the computer that shares the internet connection after the power supply blew up and they all arrive. I start playing poker and kicking the machine periodically. I lose quickly at poker - I blame the cards but I wasn't really awake enough to do much better. Anyway the chinese we'd ordered arrives and I hear my phone ringing upstairs and answer it - it's kissycat1000 wondering if I was OK - very sweet of her :) We talk for a little while as I eat my food. I hope I did better that time than the last time she called up :)

Fixed the computer in the end and got online, chatted some more to kissycat1000, played Soldier of Fortune II Multiplayer Beta with eze which was fairly amusing and went to bed.

I'm currently trying to organise what's going on with regards to holidays and stuff but not having much luck. I think I'll just have to make a decision and be done with it.
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