June 16th, 2002

nice fish

Time to recharge...

Well after the traumatic events of the last week I have been sat here - I've not really even been able to think straight. I know I haven't been able to post as unbiasedly as I normally do simply because I want to get my feelings down in writing.

Caring for kissycat1000 while she's been going through this difficult time has really taken a lot out of me. I knew it might, I was willing to risk that. I am going to look after myself for a bit, take a day out. I'm going to ride down to visit dylan at his parent's house (goddesssnoweh is coming along for the ride) - I've known him years but never actually been to his parent's house, and they're on holiday and I have my new bike. Okay, so I only have 70 quid until the end of the month but I need to do something.

What makes it more difficult is that I know for kissycat1000 there IS no real escape. I am not about to leave her to cope with it by herself; I'm just looking after myself (as I feel I do quite well) so I can continue to be there for her.

Which I suppose brings me onto another point. kissycat1000 had always pushed me away and not wanted me to get involved to this level, but I insisted. I did know the risks it held, and I am doing things now to mitigate the damage that has done. The situation has been very intense, far more so than any 'normal' situation.

If anyone wants to reach me (hint) they should be able to via dylan or goddesssnoweh.

I'm off to have a bit of time out :)
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nice fish

A bike ride...

Today has been great, with ups and downs, both of the physical kind on the bike and the emotional kind. I went for a ride to see dylan and took goddesssnoweh on the back of my new bike.

I've known dylan for years but I've never been to his (parents') house, so that was something I've wanted to do for a long time out of the way. We saw his collection of cameras, some of his hifi and a lot of photographs detailing some of the things he's done. He's done a lot.

Otherwise we just sat and chatted a lot. Had a rather bewildering call from kissycat1000.. hence my reference to emotional ups and downs.

The ride back was a lot quicker - due to a slightly quicker route plus me being more confident on the bike :) Still, 110mph isn't bad for the first proper ride on country lanes with a pillion ;)

I am looking forward to Colin's visit on Tuesday, and possibly cryx and nemy's visit to kissycat1000 on Wed/Thur. If I get the day off on Thursday I will try and book the bike in for the carbs to be redone and the MOT as well. Other than that there is the thought of going to Stonehenge for the summer solstice on Friday evening with dylan and possibly goddesssnoweh, tsietisin and reverendhatty amongst others. kissycat1000 will hopefully come along if she doesn't have the kids on Friday evening..

UPDATE: Oooh I meant to say that I am going to ride into work tomorrow.. after pretty much two weeks of being away. This is going to be rather amusing.
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