Azekeil (azekeil) wrote,
Azekeil
azekeil

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An update

Well, it seems to have been a long time since I made an update. As per usual there has been a lot going on, and it's taken me a while to digest it and make sense of it all.

Life has been tough, adjusting to the new job which has been taking a lot out of me. I haven't yet quite got the hang of the early shifts yet but it's not all bad news; I'm really enjoying the late shifts I'm on now. I don't have to be in work until 10:30am, and as work is only 10 mins away this means I get to spend an hour or so kid-free with kissycat1000 most mornings. This will really help ease some of the tension I've been feeling about having just two evenings a week (and losing the ability to be in contact throughout the day as in my old job) to try to conduct a relationship with kissycat1000.

This all exploded out in hideous slow motion at the end of the weekend; more about the weekend later.

I'm glad I did finally get out what I have been bottling up inside me. Hopefully this will mark an improvement in all our lives, and allow me to return to the loving and supportive relationship I know kissycat1000 enjoyed from me in the past.

As far as work goes, I'm still enjoying it greatly but I can already feel the stresses and strains of being expected to do things and help out at short notice which cut into my finely balanced plans outside of work. How do I explain to them that my lifestyle decisions mean I have a life which means that yes working late one night (or even going to the pub socially) severely impacts not only my life but also the lives of two other adults and indeed to a smaller extent two children? I suppose I shouldn't ask for special treatment. I work hard while I'm there and get on with them. I'll have to find a balance, or perhaps they'll accept that's how it's going to be with me. I'll be relieved when the 3 month probation period is over.

In general, I've still been fairly to moderately depressed, but with good things and social events to keep me above water. Hopefully I'll be able to come out of hermitage soon and actually interact with people naturally rather than regard them as strange figures I don't understand and feel awkward and self-conscious around.

The biking and camping weekend was utterly fantastic and memorable; many people have documented it (including fantastic photos). All I have to add to the weekend is that I want a faster bike!!

This weekend is sebastian_lux' birthday BBQ at mine followed by a trip to whotheheckami and co's for kid-friendly time over the bank holiday. No bike there then.. must invent harness for Jordan to sit strapped in front of me and add seat to replace the top-box for Tianna... ;)

The next 3 or so weekends are booked up. Summer is well and truly on the way if not already here. I've got lots to do in terms of little projects and goals. I'm looking forward to life settling down a bit and making progress on all fronts :)
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