Azekeil (azekeil) wrote,
Azekeil
azekeil

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Travelling Without Moving

Ugh. The last week or so has been a mixture of busy, relaxing, stressful, upsetting, happiness, fear, insecurity and optimism. I've been busy packing, relaxing at a LAN, stressing about the exchange not happening until THIS MORNING!! (completion tomorrow), happiness spending quality time with kissycat1000, fear at the change implied in all our lives by the move, insecurity surrounding what it means to me to be moving - specifically to Cheltenham, the implications of it all; and optimism for the future.

I'm so drained by all of this. I've not been thinking straight and doing daft things, reacting badly to things, crying at minimal provocation. These things are still important to me and still affect me; it's just they affect me more at present because I'm not able to take them in my stride as I might have done before.

This has been something kissycat1000 and I have talked about for years, literally. It also happens to be the biggest thing I think I've done.. ever. And the fact it has all this extra significance adds to the weight.

The contracts have been exchanged. The mortgage money will be through in time. The moving van is booked. My stuff is 90% packed. The estate agent has been instructed for completion (TOMORROW!!).

I want to pass out and collapse but the largest effort is still to come - moving everything! I just hope I don't feel ill like I did at the end of last week..

Work has been stressful in amongst this all as well with nothing really happening except admin and attempting to get things rolling - even though it's not my fault there's not been a lot for me to do which has been causing me no end of angst as project deadlines slip through my fingers.

One nice thing amongst all this is that I found an effect whilst packing that confirmed the first time kissycat1000 and I got together. We've never really had a proper anniversary as we've never really been able to remember exactly when it was. It's a small thing but at least now we know :)
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