Azekeil (azekeil) wrote,

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Further to last post..

Thanks all for your support and offers..

The meeting actually went well. Talked about depression and he seemed very understanding. I felt like an idiot as I tried to explain there was no way I could explain why I'd forgotten the review, but that I know I've not forgotten something that serious before now, and not that it's an excuse but I felt the depression was to blame. He's been asking me to see the doctor but I've got reservations about that in terms of life insurance and applying for new jobs ("Have you had a history of mental illness?").

Anyway, something else he suggested that must have been clouded out by my depression is the obvious thought that the server move/rebuild work should be turned into a proper project, with planning and everything, me doing the management.

This would offer a way out of the piecemeal stuff with people calling me up offering me work that's miles away but me feeling pressure to take it due to the lack of full-time work in Bristol, as well as all the personal development and stability a longer project can offer. So, this is a good thing.

At the moment I'm just feeling a bit stressed and shaken by the events of today, but I know I'll be back on track tomorrow because I feel like I have more control over things in my life - partly due to the review meeting but also due to making progress with things last night. I'm trying to get on with some other work I am supposed to be doing in the meantime, which is going OK.

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