And I hear a vicious rumour that a certain someone has beaten me to my goal! Bit galling, but unsurprising given the amount of time and alcohol involved in this project - there was too much of one and not enough of the other. I'll leave the reader to guess which way round.
Ah well: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Being on the bleeding edge of DIY computing projects will have an exacting price every one in a while. That's how I look at it anyway.
So, I'm going to go and sulk upstairs away from the scene of my failure and play nice distracting computer games instead. So there.